[Okay, ril quick jist follow this link, read the comic, and then come back and read this post; otherwise, this ain't gonna make a good deal of sense.]
So. Arby's sells a Southwest Chicken Eggroll. This strikes me as a mite bit--uh--idiosyncratic; I mean, combining Oriental and Occidental cuisine in such a way seems--I dunno--just weird, if not totally sacrilegious. Working at Arby's, I ask as many people who order the Eggrolls as I can what they think of them, and most agree that the cultural convergence is not as harmonious as its creators undoubtedly hoped it would be.
My question is, if Arby's wants to sell something that has black beans and chicken in it, why don't they just wrap it in a tortilla? Has our society really been improved by the advent of this culinary mutt? (Not that I think our society has gained a whole lot from fast food in general....)
Anyway, whenever I see the big poster that advertises "New Southwest Chicken Eggrolls Now For A Limited Time Hurry In!" all I can think is ***.
28 September 2007
21 September 2007
Post 22
[DISCLAIMER: this isn't as wretchedly sappy as it seems; if while reading this you find yourself thinking, "Woof! Gag me with sugar!" then I've accomplished my goal; just keep reading--I promise to reward you in the end.]
I'm out here lookin'
For someone to love
Someone who came straight
From Heaven above
Someone who's pretty
And witty and bright
Someone who always
Does ev'rything right
Someone who's lovely
In body and mind
Someone who's perfect
Oh what a find!
I know that she's out there
I know this is true
'Cuz I know someone like that
That's right: it's me.
I'm out here lookin'
For someone to love
Someone who came straight
From Heaven above
Someone who's pretty
And witty and bright
Someone who always
Does ev'rything right
Someone who's lovely
In body and mind
Someone who's perfect
Oh what a find!
I know that she's out there
I know this is true
'Cuz I know someone like that
That's right: it's me.
17 September 2007
Post 21
So. Thmazing emailed me a mp3 of a classical piano piece called "Schmetterling." I'd never heard it before; it's pretty nice.
Curious, I Wikipedia'd myself and learned that, just because I'm a butterfly, doesn't mean I'm not tough; check me out!
Curious, I Wikipedia'd myself and learned that, just because I'm a butterfly, doesn't mean I'm not tough; check me out!
13 September 2007
Post 20
Two quick sagely admonitions for you, things I have learned from painful personal experience in the past 24 hours:
1) If you want to eat a hard-boiled egg, even if you're feeling excessively macho, do not attempt to crack it by squeezing it in your fist. I imagine that the badness of this idea would be compounded if the egg in question were raw, though I can't claim to have experience in such a scenario.
2) If you feel inclined to slam your car door while simultaneously turning around to walk away, be sure to rotate yourself in a direction that is harmonious with the path of the door lest a corner catch thee in thy bicep and filleth thee with remorse.
1) If you want to eat a hard-boiled egg, even if you're feeling excessively macho, do not attempt to crack it by squeezing it in your fist. I imagine that the badness of this idea would be compounded if the egg in question were raw, though I can't claim to have experience in such a scenario.
2) If you feel inclined to slam your car door while simultaneously turning around to walk away, be sure to rotate yourself in a direction that is harmonious with the path of the door lest a corner catch thee in thy bicep and filleth thee with remorse.
12 September 2007
Post 19
So, Thmazing went and put this really, really creepy picture on his latest post, and I wondered, "Where the heck does he get this stuff?" So I clicked on said creepy picture and wound up at Sugardoodle.net, which I immediately began to explore. One link I followed has "58 actual newspaper headlines," which were actually mildly entertaining. One, though, especially caught my attention insomuch that I felt I just had to call attention to it:
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
Oh man! Where can I get my hands on that article? Seriously!
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
Oh man! Where can I get my hands on that article? Seriously!
10 September 2007
Post 18
And now for some sagacity that will surely help you through your many woes:
"There are eight ways to place a viewgraph." --Anita Gale
I first heard this straight from the horse's mouth while I attended my first SSD competition at Kennedy Space Center. It was a tip she gave us on presenting our material well as she demonstrated all eight orientations on the overhead projector: north, south, east, west; ʇsǝʍ 'ʇsɐǝ 'ɥʇnos 'ɥʇɹou (kinda like that; pretend it's mirror writing instead of just upsidedown).
Since then, I have discovered that these wise words apply to many aspects of life. For example, when I worked at an office supply store, I often was tasked with assembling furniture. One time, I was trying to put together this office chair, but it just wasn't working for me. I finally went and asked my supervisor for help. When he came over, he looked at the chair for a minute and said, "Well for starters, most people prefer the cushioned side to be towards their back."
"There are eight ways to place a viewgraph."
This past weekend, I visited home. While there, I helped my sister put some dishes away. She handed me a pancake flipper to put in a drawer, but I couldn't make it fit.
"I think it goes in horizontal," she said.
I thought I was putting in in horizontally, but I flipped it over, wondering if that's what she meant.
"No," she said, "horizontal."
I flipped it around on a different axis.
"Horizontal!" she said again.
To be funny, I stood it on it's end--a position that was vertical no matter how you looked at it.
"No," she said, "like this," and she flipped it around--oh--horizontally.
"There are eight ways to place a viewgraph."
At Church on Sunday, a man told a story to demonstrate how husband-wife communication is not always perfect:
He and his wife were putting up a fence, as they got toward the end, she said, "We're gonna have to cut one piece in half," so he obediently took one of the wooden slabs to the garage and cut it in half.
"WHAT DID YOU DO‽" she asked when he brought the two pieces back.
"I cut it in half like you said!"
"There are eight ways to place a viewgraph."
"There are eight ways to place a viewgraph." --Anita Gale
I first heard this straight from the horse's mouth while I attended my first SSD competition at Kennedy Space Center. It was a tip she gave us on presenting our material well as she demonstrated all eight orientations on the overhead projector: north, south, east, west; ʇsǝʍ 'ʇsɐǝ 'ɥʇnos 'ɥʇɹou (kinda like that; pretend it's mirror writing instead of just upsidedown).
Since then, I have discovered that these wise words apply to many aspects of life. For example, when I worked at an office supply store, I often was tasked with assembling furniture. One time, I was trying to put together this office chair, but it just wasn't working for me. I finally went and asked my supervisor for help. When he came over, he looked at the chair for a minute and said, "Well for starters, most people prefer the cushioned side to be towards their back."
"There are eight ways to place a viewgraph."
This past weekend, I visited home. While there, I helped my sister put some dishes away. She handed me a pancake flipper to put in a drawer, but I couldn't make it fit.
"I think it goes in horizontal," she said.
I thought I was putting in in horizontally, but I flipped it over, wondering if that's what she meant.
"No," she said, "horizontal."
I flipped it around on a different axis.
"Horizontal!" she said again.
To be funny, I stood it on it's end--a position that was vertical no matter how you looked at it.
"No," she said, "like this," and she flipped it around--oh--horizontally.
"There are eight ways to place a viewgraph."
At Church on Sunday, a man told a story to demonstrate how husband-wife communication is not always perfect:
He and his wife were putting up a fence, as they got toward the end, she said, "We're gonna have to cut one piece in half," so he obediently took one of the wooden slabs to the garage and cut it in half.
"WHAT DID YOU DO‽" she asked when he brought the two pieces back.
"I cut it in half like you said!"
"There are eight ways to place a viewgraph."
05 September 2007
Post 17
THIS JUST IN!
Okay, dear readers, this is exciting! Here's some honest-to-goodness eccentric wisdom that will surely become indispensable shortly after you first try it.
Alright, everyone together now; do this with me!
1) Open your word processor
2) Hold down ALT and then quickly type 8253
3) BEHOLD THE MAGIC!
(It's called an interrobang, by the way; to see it in action, look at Post 14).
Now go, my people, and be sure to use that little bugger as often as is reasonable--which ought to be a heckuva lot more than heretofore!
Okay, dear readers, this is exciting! Here's some honest-to-goodness eccentric wisdom that will surely become indispensable shortly after you first try it.
Alright, everyone together now; do this with me!
1) Open your word processor
2) Hold down ALT and then quickly type 8253
3) BEHOLD THE MAGIC!
(It's called an interrobang, by the way; to see it in action, look at Post 14).
Now go, my people, and be sure to use that little bugger as often as is reasonable--which ought to be a heckuva lot more than heretofore!
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