Post 201

Okay, here's a fun game: I'll give you a picture; you come up with a caption. I just happen to have the best picture in the whole wide world; let's see how well you can caption it. Ready? Go ahead and scroll down a bit.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Post 184

If only. If only....

Post 51

And now this exciting bit of news:

When Chuck Norris goes cow-tipping, he lifts a cow up and drop kicks it into the neighboring farm. All the other cows simply tip themselves over to keep from having to walk back in the dark.

That is all.

Okay, not really. My absolute favorite Chuck Norris joke--er--fact is:

Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

That's an impressive poker face! He probably uses that often now:

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

THAT'S all.

Post 39

Have I mentioned that I like cows?

Just checkin....

Post 19

So, Thmazing went and put this really, really creepy picture on his latest post, and I wondered, "Where the heck does he get this stuff?" So I clicked on said creepy picture and wound up at Sugardoodle.net, which I immediately began to explore. One link I followed has "58 actual newspaper headlines," which were actually mildly entertaining. One, though, especially caught my attention insomuch that I felt I just had to call attention to it:

Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax

Oh man! Where can I get my hands on that article? Seriously!

Post 15

I like cows.

Okay, so that's not exactly accurate; cows themselves are actually not very exciting, but something about the--how shall I call it?--idea du vache (to flaunt my rusting French that was only ever rudimentary at best) is so dang cool!
Anyway, I have long been attracted to the Bovine Concept, so you can imagine my joy when I read the following on page 60 of the May 2007 Reader's Digest:
*
Lie down in a cow pasture. If the herd is far off, yell to get their attention, then immediately drop down and lie flat. The entire herd will come galloping over and form a tight circle around you, staring down at you with intense bovine curiosity. I have tried this three times on two continents. It is marvelously surreal.
*
Can you think of anything more intriguing? Come on; try to; I dare you!
See? It can't be done! Why? Because there is nothing more intriguing than the thought of a bunch of Bos Tauri standing in a circle above your head! That's why!
So one day (30 May 2007) I got a wild hair as I passed a some grazing cattle while cruising down the freeway, pulled over and parked, and hopped out of my car, armed with my cellphone, ready to get irrefutable evidence of what I was about to do.
Getting over the barbed-wire fence was a delicate procedure, put I manged to get by it without any visceral wounds, and I found myself standing in a pasture full of--uh--cows. Black ones--Jersey Cows?
Who knows....
Anyway, they didn't seem inclined to acknowledge my existence--like, at all; apparently chewing cud is a very enthralling activity that requires all of the participant's concentration--so I "yell[ed] to get their attention, then immediately drop[ped] down and lie[d] flat."
And they ran away.
They ran away!

Disappointment of my life....