24 January 2011

Post 242

And now a very subtle joke:

To error is human.


(Sorry. I just barely learned that error is a noun and err is a verb, so to "to error" is an error.)

20 January 2011

Post 241

This is an outrage!

So. That song "We Built This City" by Starship? It's kinda become my song in the last month or so for various reasons. I just really, really like it. "Marconi plays the mamba / Listen to the radio!" is pretty much one of the best things to happen to the 80s--and I like the 80s!

Anyway, I looked the song up on Wikipedia to see what I could learn about it. I know that Starship came into being as the result of a lawsuit, and so I thought maybe it was their first hit because the whole thrust of the song is, "Hey, remember us? Yeah, we're awesome. You know that; we know that. Corporations do their silly things, but we're still here, and we're ready to rock." Wikipedia said nothing about this, but it did say this:

In April 2004, the song was listed as "the #1 Worst Song Ever" by Blender magazine. [...] The Blender ranking of the song as the worst song ever was in conjunction with a VH1 Special of The 50 Most Awesomely Bad Songs...Ever. In order to qualify for the distinction, the songs on the list had to be a popular hit at some point, thus disqualifying many songs that would by general consensus be considered much worse.

Really, guys? Really? The #1 worst song ever? Really? I recognize that most people probably don't like it as much as I do and that I once had to tell a roommate that my musical selections "are not hampered by things like taste," but the worst song ever? Seems a bit harsh....

So I looked up VH1's little list, and that's when I got really upset.

To be fair, it might be a very good list (it has a lot of songs I don't know, so it's hard for me to judge fairly), and I have to give it credit for getting two of my least favorite songs ever ("Barbie Girl" by Aqua and "Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue" by Toby Keith). They also identified several songs that probably don't deserve the honorific part of this dubious honor but really are pretty terrible ("I would do anything for love (but I won't do that)" by Meatloaf, "I'm too sexy" by Right Said Fred, "Achy Breaky Heart" by Billy Ray Cyrus, "Ice, Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice, "From a distance" by Bette Midler). There are songs I like that I'm not surprised to see on a list like this ("Broken wings" by Mr. Mister, for instance), but that's to be expected, I guess. So, really, most of the list is probably pretty reasonable.

But the parts that aren't reasonable are so unreasonable!

First the songs that, regardless of how you feel about them, don't seem hate worthy: "Never gonna give you up" by Rick Astley, "You're the inspiration" by Chicago, "Cotton eye Joe" by Rednex (not a song I thought I'd ever defend!), and "Don't worry, be happy" by Bobby McFerrin.

If those were my biggest complaints for this list, it wouldn't deserve a blogpost, but here are the real kickers:

"Two princes" by Spin Doctors comes in at #46; "We didn't start the fire" by Billy Joel is #44; "Heart of Rock-n-Roll" by Huey Lewis & the News is #10; and "Breakfast at Tiffany's" by Deep Blue Something is #6!

Still not persuaded? I can almost imagine a person (not much of a person, but a person nonetheless) who didn't like any of those songs, but I cannot conjure an image in my mind of the sort of person who would hate all of those songs PLUS a song that I think has one of the greatest keyboard riffs of all time yet somehow lands itself a place on this ridiculous list at #16: "The Final Countdown" by Europe.

Who hates "The Final Countdown"?? Who even has a mild distaste for that song? Who of all the people who have ever heard that song as heard it without at least having a passing thought of, "Man, this song is pretty great"? What sort of terrible people wrote this list?

Furthermore, where is Eminem on this list? Where is Uncle Kracker (that song "Follow Me" is horrible!)? Where is Britney Spears? How did "Hey Mickey," "Material Girl," and "Tubthumping" all avoid this list? (I actually like all three of those songs, but they are pretty "awesomely bad.") No Twisted Sister? No Air Supply? No Aaron Carter? How is there not a single 90s boys band on this list? Also strangely absent: "All by myself" by Eric Carmen. (I would bring up Lady Gaga and Jusin Beiber, but they weren't around in 2004.)

Anyway. I think it's terrible. Here's the list, for anyone who's interested. Tell me, friends, what injustices you can find:

50. Corey Hart - I Wear My Sunglasses at Night
49. Puff Daddy f/ Faith Evans & 112 - "I'll Be Missing You'
48. Michael Bolton - 'Can I Touch You There'
47. Bobby Brown w/Whitney Houston, 'Something in Common'
46. Spin Doctors - Two Princes
45. Ruben Studdard, 'I'm Sorry'
44. Billy Joel - We Didn't Start The Fire
43. Master P feat. Silkk, Fiend, Mia-x & Mystikal - 'Make Em Say Uhh'
42. Rednex - Cotton Eye Joe
41. JC Chasez - 'Some Girls (Dance with Women)'
40. 4 Non Blondes, 'What's Up'
39. Snow - 'Informer'
38. Ja Rule - Mesmerize
37. Bette Midler, "From a Distance"
36. Color Me Badd - I Wanna Sex You Up
35. Don Johnson - Heartbeat
34. Crazytown - 'Butterfly'
33. Jennifer Lopez - 'Jenny from the Block'
32. Mr. Mister - Broken Wings
31. R. Kelly, 'You Remind Me of Something'
30. Nelly - Pimp Juice
29. Meatloaf - 'I Would Do Anything for Love (But I Won't do That)
28. Rick Astley - 'Never Gonna Give You Up'
27. Wreckx-N-Effect - 'Rump Shaker'
26. Bryan Adams - The Only Thing That Looks Good on Me is You
25. Michael Jackson, 'You Rock My World'
24. Phil Collins, "Sussudio"
23. Sisqo - 'The Thong Song'
22. Lionel Richie - Dancing on the Ceiling
21. Rembrandts, "I'll Be There For You"
20. Toby Keith, 'Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue'
19. Chicago - You're the Inspiration
18. Hammer - 'Pumps and a Bump'
17. Right Said Fred, "I'm Too Sexy"
16. Europe, "The Final Countdown"
15. Crash Test Dummies - Mmm, Mmm, Mmm, Mmm
14. Will Smith, "Will2K"
13. Aqua - 'Barbie Girl'
12. New Kids on the block - Hangin' Tough
11. Gerardo - Rico Suave
10. Huey Lewis & the News - Heart of Rock-n-Roll
9. Bobby McFerrin - Don't Worry Be Happy
8. Ricky Martin - She Bangs
7. Eddie Murphy, "Party All the Time"
6. Deep Blue Something, "Breakfast at Tiffany's"
5. Vanilla Ice, "Ice Ice Baby"
4. Limp Bizkit, "Rollin'"
3. Wang Chung - Everybody Have Fun Tonight
2. Billy Ray Cyrus, "Achy Breaky Heart"
1. Starship, "We Built This City"