Post 15

I like cows.

Okay, so that's not exactly accurate; cows themselves are actually not very exciting, but something about the--how shall I call it?--idea du vache (to flaunt my rusting French that was only ever rudimentary at best) is so dang cool!
Anyway, I have long been attracted to the Bovine Concept, so you can imagine my joy when I read the following on page 60 of the May 2007 Reader's Digest:
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Lie down in a cow pasture. If the herd is far off, yell to get their attention, then immediately drop down and lie flat. The entire herd will come galloping over and form a tight circle around you, staring down at you with intense bovine curiosity. I have tried this three times on two continents. It is marvelously surreal.
*
Can you think of anything more intriguing? Come on; try to; I dare you!
See? It can't be done! Why? Because there is nothing more intriguing than the thought of a bunch of Bos Tauri standing in a circle above your head! That's why!
So one day (30 May 2007) I got a wild hair as I passed a some grazing cattle while cruising down the freeway, pulled over and parked, and hopped out of my car, armed with my cellphone, ready to get irrefutable evidence of what I was about to do.
Getting over the barbed-wire fence was a delicate procedure, put I manged to get by it without any visceral wounds, and I found myself standing in a pasture full of--uh--cows. Black ones--Jersey Cows?
Who knows....
Anyway, they didn't seem inclined to acknowledge my existence--like, at all; apparently chewing cud is a very enthralling activity that requires all of the participant's concentration--so I "yell[ed] to get their attention, then immediately drop[ped] down and lie[d] flat."
And they ran away.
They ran away!

Disappointment of my life....