Post 218

This from a 1976 "Dear Abby" submitted by THINKING MAN:

"If you absolutely cannot refrain from drinking, start a saloon in your own home. Be the only customer and you will not have to buy a license. Give your wife $12.00 to buy a gallon of whiskey. there are 128 shots in a gallon. Buy all your drinks from your wife at 40¢ a shot and in four days when the gallon is gone, your wife will have $39.20 to put in the banks and $12.00 to buy another gallon. If you live 10 years and buy all your booze from your wife and then die with snakes in your boots, she will have $35,750.40 on deposit, enough to bury you respectably, bring up your children, buy and house and lot, marry a decent man and forget she ever knew YOU!"

Maybe I need to develop some expensive bad habits while I'm single so someday when I'm married I can give my wife a nest egg....

Post 217

I love substantives. They are an awesome.

Post 216

If I've said it once, I've said it once: tautology is tautology.

And that's that!

Post 215

It is a foolish man who amidst the storms of life runs outside to shout at the thunder and flail in the wind. A wiser man knows to hunker down and wait for fairer weather to come.

Post 214

And so it was the courage was the only casualty that day, for a speedy retreat hath many a happy marriage made. That a man may courageously die for a cause is true, but that a living coward may prove of more use to a society than a dead hero is just is true.

Post 213

Hey friends. Because I've become such a once-in-a-blue-moon sort of blogger (not as bad as some, I know, but far worse than I am wont to be), I thought I'd give you a post that is completely new and different in style and media and whatnot.

I work as a research assistant. It's mostly mind-numbing work. To keep myself from going crazy, I made myself a Pandora radio station with 99 Luftballons as a seed song. I have since been very much enjoying the music of female artists from the 80s--and they are fantastic! My girlfriend gives me some ribbing over the fact that I suddenly have a crush on the music of the likes of Madonna and Cyndi Lauper, but it's good stuff! Don't believe me? Well, let me prove you wrong, friends--let me prove you wrong! Behold! Music that you can't listen to a be unhappy; if you are unhappy, it will cheer you up:

Post 212

I'm not convinced that I have any interest in seeing Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, but this awesome bit from Ebert's review:

Let me search my memory. I think — no, I'm positive — this is the first movie I've seen where the hero dangles above a chasm lined with razor-sharp peanut brittle while holding onto a red licorice rope held by his girlfriend, who has a peanut allergy, so that when she gets cut by some brittle and goes into anaphylactic shock and her body swells up, she refuses to let go, and so the hero bites through the licorice to save her. You don't see that every day.