Post 3

I am about to dabble in an area that I have absolutely no credentials in, but, because I am a purebred American mutt claiming to be a German butterfly with the sole mission of generating sagely eccentricity--furthermore, because this is my blog--I'm going to dabble!

It's funny; just last night I was thinking about this subject and wondering whether I was brash enough to blog about it. Ultimately, I decided that, no, I am not that brash. But then today I was perusing some Thmusings that addressed the topic, and that led me to look at Lady Steed's take on it, and that led me to say, "Dabble on, little Schmetterling; dabble on!"

Now, as I said before, I have no credentials here; this topic is waaaaay out of my jurisdiction and, indeed, quite a ways from my comfort zone as well. Unlike Thmazing, I am not married, and I certainly don't have any children (heck, I've never had an even remotely serious relationship with a girl in my life!), and, unlike Lady Steed, I am a guy. But I hold up as my one credential the fact that I consider myself to be fundamentally different--not necessarily better or worse, just different--from most single guys my age, and I think that my abnormalities will shine through clearly in this blog, which is really the reason I feel inclined to dabble in a topic so taboo that I haven't even named it yet.

So where to begin....

First of all, I'm with Lady Steed in that--and maybe this makes me weird--but I really don't understand how breasts have become such a mainstay in society's fascination--nay, obsession with sex. And I'm a guy! I'm the one they're catering to! But I just don't get it. But, then again, I've never been the type to suffer much from physical attraction; in fact, I'm so emphatically against physical attraction that I may be diagnosably unstable--at times, at least. Being a young, single guy, I often find myself surrounded by other young, single guys, and I've noticed that young, single guys have the tendency to talk about young, single girls--usually the target age range is late teens to early twenties. To my recollection, I've never participated in such a discussion except to put in my overly-cynical catchphrase for all such conversations: "There is no teenaged girl so attractive that she can't turn me off by opening her mouth."

Now, please understand, I'm not really that cynical; I have, in fact, had the pleasure of associating with girls who are in their late teens and early twenties who can, in fact, say intelligent things on a fairly regular basis, and I've had that pleasure more than once in my life (meaning probably three or four times), but I must admit that I do have the tendency to assume that all stereotypically "sexy" females have the typical airheadedness that American men seem to love.

Note here that I am not sexist: I believe all males (including myself) are inherently stupid regardless of sexiness (though I have never been a very good judge of masculine sexiness) and, if it weren't for the wonderful world of womanhood, well, "hell in a hand basket" is just the beginning.

But back to the original topic (I apologize for addressing it so tangentially and at such length): I'm with Lady Steed. I am grateful for breasts (especially my mother's because they presumably sustained me through the first bit of my life, though I don't remember much), but I am not attracted to them much. Of course, having grown up in American society, I do have a pestering curiosity about them because they're such a big, taboo secret, but I am not affected much the shirtless women in The Gods Must Be Crazy, and I'm not offended by the line "Baby at your breast" in that one Beatles' song, and it's no skin off my back (nose?--chest?--wherever the heck skin comes off) if a woman breastfeeds in public--though occasionally my wretched societal inculcations make me a little twittery around breasfeeding women, the baby's gotta eat; who am I to encourage infant nutritional deprivation?

Anyway, I don't know if I really have a point I'm trying to make here; I'm just having such a "Well it's about time!" experience having read something nonsexual about breasts that I had to contribute my two cents--or half penny--whatever.