So, a little while ago, there were these posts that people I know were putting on their blogs that listed their quirks. Cunfuzzled was first, and I thought, "Dude, Schmetterling, you totally got this," but when I started a new post, I came to the realization that I have no quirks.
(I can sense your eyebrows raising, dear readers, even as I type this.)
But I've been thinking about it some more, and I've decided that, yes, I do have a few quirks, and now I've managed to come up with a few that are worth mentioning, so here they are.
Quirk #1: I can't kill creeping things.
This quirk irks me occasionally because, frankly, it's pretty inconvenient. The worst thing is that I brought it on myself: when I was in high school, I decided that there was no reason for brazenly killing things on the sole basis of their number of legs, and so I stopped stepping on bugs. Somehow, that simple decision exploded into a condition that is now bigger than I am. For example, the last place I lived had this crazy flying ant infestation--no drone ants anywhere to be found, but flying ants all over the place! But I couldn't kill them. Nevertheless, their incessant buzzing got on my nerves, so I resorted to trapping them in a harmonica box and taking them outside. Very inefficient and fairly difficult, but I just couldn't bring myself to kill them.
A couple of days ago, a ginormous spider came out of nowhere while I was using my computer and scared the crap out of me (figuratively speaking). The thing was huge and I was chagrined to see it coming out from behind my monitor because that is right beside my bed, and I don't want fuzzy creepy crawlies sleeping with me. But I couldn't kill it. Spiders are faster and smarter than ants, so catching it was tricky, but I couldn't kill it and I didn't want it living in my room, so I persisted until I had successfully released it into the wild.
The strange thing is, I'm pretty sure I could kill a cow or a deer or even a cute little bunny if I needed the food--certainly wouldn't do it for sport, but for food, I really think I could. But I can't kill bugs. This, I think, makes me completely backward in modern American society.
Quirk#2: My eating habits lack luster.
I have eaten French toast virtually every morning that I've made myself breakfast (easily above 90% of the time) for more than three years now. I never get sick of it. I thought I would a long time ago, but I never have. In fact, sometime, as I'm drifting off to sleep, I think, "Oh boy! I get to have French toast in the morning!" and that thought actually makes me so excited that I have trouble falling asleep.
I am not the sort of man who requires much culinary variety in general, come to think of it. It is not unusual for me to eat the same thing for lunch and dinner in a given day, and that's generally the meal I've been making for dinner every day for weeks on end. Right now, this is chicken and rice. A couple of months ago, it was pasta with chicken and sauce. I'm considering a return to pasta. But chicken is always the same--always.
French toast every morning, chicken for lunch and dinner. Is it any wonder I got salmonella? Just a matter of time, really.
While we're talking about my strange eating habits, were any of you my readers when I talked about my drinking problem? We'll call that Quirk#3.
And now you know that I'm not so normal as I seem. Whoda thunk, huh?
I think you proved any lack of normality in your last post.
ReplyDeleteJust sayin'.
You would!
ReplyDelete(I don't know what that means.)
Oh, also: I've never thought of you as normal.
ReplyDeleteWhich, in my world, is actually kinda a compliment. (Because I find normal people rather dull . . .)
Heh... I think it's ironic that you depend on Murphy's Law that everyone will read about your drinking problem, then put a big neon sign.
ReplyDeletelol. And yeah, I gotta ditto Confuzzled again. ^.^
And hey, Confuzzled? You've met a normal person? O.o; How terrifying for you... >.< They're the stuff of my nightmares. I hope never to meet one.
Here is the real question: could you kill a bug for food?
ReplyDeleteI just don't see there being much nutritional value in that. 'sides, I'd hafta be purdy darn hungry to want to eat a bug!
ReplyDeleteAlso, welcome to TES, my friend; 'sgood to have you!
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ReplyDeleteBugs are a good source of nutrition. You could stay alive on bugs for a looong time.
But I agree: French toast still makes a better breakfast.
The Big O LOVES french toast. He would really enjoy having you make him breakfast every morning.
ReplyDeleteOne quirk will lead to your utter destruction at the hand of a pack of hungry wolf spiders.
ReplyDeleteThe other quirk has already led to salmonella, which is only a shadow of the diseases to come.
Your days are numbered. Social Darwinism wins again.
Shut up, Luther....
ReplyDelete.
ReplyDeleteHey! What happened to my comment to Luthor? Was it too rude for the lepidopterists in attendance?
Are you sure it posted? I haven't seen it.
ReplyDelete.
ReplyDeleteI'd thought so.....
Anyway, it had to do with the fact that Luther was dead wrong: this wouldn't be a case of Social Darwinism, but plain ol' Regular Darwinism.
Anyway....the moment has passed.