On Thanksgiving, I watched Live Free or Die Hard. I never had any intentions to ever watch that movie, but my cosmetologist sister not only likes and highly recommends it but actually owns it. The fact that this particular sister of mine owned this movie was so intriguing to me that I was filled with an overwhelming desire to watch it--I mean, I usually disapprove of this sister's movie selections on the basis that they are too laden with estrogen, and here she owns this movie that I figured would emit enough testosterone to knock Hossein Reza Zadeh for a loop. This state of affairs still bamboozles me and sets my poor brain to digging for a fancypants vocabulary word strong enough to convey my utter shock--juxtaposition, idiosyncrasy, dichotomy--really, without you knowing my sister, there is no satisfactory term.
Anyway, I was pretty disappointed. I'm still completely thunderstruck that my sister likes this movie enough to own it because it really is just another over-the-top action flick. I mean, it had its moments, and I rather enjoyed it at times, but I don't see how it really stands out much.
Maybe my ignorance is to blame for my lack of wowification, though. Yasee, to my knowledge, most of the things that happened in that movie were simply impossible. But that may just be because of a lack of knowledge. For example, I bet most people like me who were somehow convinced to watch this movie were turned off by the crazy Russians jumping from wall to wall in the alley way and by the especially crazy Russian who did all kinds of impossible things before McClain kicked him into the spinning paddlewheel of death. But as it turns out, while these sorts of things are impossible for most people, Russians and Latvians and maybe the whole Slavic world have a genetic immunity to gravity. It sounds ridiculous, I know! You don't have to tell me it sound ridiculous; I know myself that, above and beyond sounding ridiculous, it is, in fact, completely ridiculous. Unfortunately, unlike many ridiculous claims, this one just happens to be true. Don't believe me? Well you explain this YouTube video then!
Crazy Slavic ninjas? Why can't I evade gravity like that?
Anyway, the disturbing fact of the matter is that, if Slavic ninjas are real (and who can deny video proof?), then perhaps much of the movie is much more plausible than we sheltered middle-class Americans dare suppose.
Overall, though, I (being a sheltered middle-class American) still consider Live Free or Die Hard a run-of-the-mill, over-the-top action flick. If you're into that sort of thing--well, if you're really into that sort of thing, I imagine you've already seen it, and I fully support you in your decision, since we can hardly expect anything better from people of your literary caste--but if you aren't into action flicks--well, good for you; just don't PO any Slavs.
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ReplyDeleteI haven't seen any of the Die Hard movies (save, oh, the first fifteen minutes of the first), but what I know of them and reading what you wrote, I think you might like the others: their whole schtick was McCain is real and what happens could happen.